This week was a challenging one. Megan has been on antibiotics since friday of last week; and on monday they prescribed yet another medicine because after they did the long culture they found she had strep as well.
I don't know if it has been the illness or what; but her behavior at school changed dramatically this week. She went from being a really happy kid, participating in activities, playing with the other children; to a kid that cries all day for no apparent reason, does not participate, does not eat or does not play with others.
And I have been consumed with guilt. Guilt for being at work all day, guilt for wanting to take time for myself and train, guilt for a million reasons. And I by friday I was emotionally drained. It also does not help that we have entered the part of the month were my job becomes really busy and demanding, so I leave mentally exhausted. All of this makes me worried. Worried that there is something going on that I am missing. And when I try to "extract" answers from my child she does not provide them for me. And I have tried. Let her color, play pretend with dolls, ask open ended questions. She does not seem to realize that she was crying all day. She will tell me: Such and such did not let me play with such toy. And that is not a reason for her to cry ALL day, or is it? But yet, that is the only answer she will give me.
I reassure her that I will not get mad, or angry; that I am just concerned because I love her; but still I get nothing. And I am worried. My head is in a cloud and I am terrified that something big is going on and I am completely blind to it. And it drives me crazy! I hope I can get to the bottom of this fairly soon, for her sake and mine.
Training has been going good. I have managed to do all my workouts so far (except for friday's long run; which I have moved to sunday) and felt pretty good about them. I even felt wonderful at the pool, and that does not happen every day! I think I might finally be turning a corner when it comes to training. For now I will just keep at it, and with luck and hard work; when the time comes to put it all together, I will have a good day and be able to accomplish the goals I have set.
I hope things get figured out! It's so hard when you go through those times with your kids, believe I have had my fill of plenty. But, it always gets figured out somehow! Good luck...
ReplyDeleteGreat news about the training! Good luck with Megan... I don't have kids, so I don't really know what to say. I DO think that you're a great Mom (after talking to you, meeting you, and reading your blog), and you really care A LOT about your family. This will work out - like Jennifer said, everything will get figured out. When kids are sick and on antibiotics it can really wreck havoc on their system. I'm sure she'll be back to her sunny self in no time.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty about training or doing the things you love. It's because that you do triathlon and keep yourself happy (by doing so) that you're a good Mom (among other things as well). Hang in there!
I don't like to speculate, but it definitely could have been because she wasn't feeling well. Just keep your eye on her (which I know you already are!). Kids are tough, and she'll pull through this without a doubt.
ReplyDeleteSend me your email at nikemomof2{at}gmaile{dot}com so I can get you hooked up to the Shirt That Races site!
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