Update

I can't believe it has been over a week since I updated the blog. Things have been pretty hectic around here. If you are my friend in FB, then you have seen me swear at various levels.

Work has been stressful to say the least. The merger is finally complete and the "little" shop I used to work for is now part of a multinational corporation where the rules are very strict and things are done way too differently. Just in case I have not said it enough already, I work for the accounting group of said corporation and after 2 weeks of our main system being down, it is now up and running; right at month end. Oh yeah, not only do we have to get used to the new system and try to learn it asap, we also have to close the month on schedule. There is not even a little bit of leeway for us numbers people.

My boss-man has not been the most helpful person lately. He has assumed a "very relaxed" position, while I am the one that is racking up her brains trying to figure out how we (or should I just simply say I) are going to do things.

There were a couple of days were I was on the verge of tears. Everything is centralized now and you pretty much need to do your part and then submit it to other for "execution". Well, those others are not doing their job the way they are supposed to and I am the one facing "the public". I have been getting phone calls from people that think I am as dumb as a brick, good for nothing, where in reality it is not me that is at fault; but others.

For a moment I thought: f*ck it! I am not going to care about it anymore. If my boss assumes the position that he is all cool and not worried about things getting done; then neither will I. If things don't get done, I won't care. But then it hit me: that is not who I am. I care. I know we have the responsibility of getting things done; and one way or another they have to be done. So I am the one that is usually worrying about everything.

I have been having really bad nights; where I really can't sleep well and I wake up all sweaty and stuff. And I worried about my training. I was concerned that my body was feeling overtrained already and I got scared. After all, it is the beginning of the year and I just took a month rest. But then I pieced it all together and realized it is just stress from work that has me all messed up. I wake up all fired up and do my workouts no problem, but when I realize that I have to go to work, my heart gets all heavy and my mood takes a turn for the worse.

It is definitely not fun. But hopefully things will get better once we get past this week and the next one. Luckily this time Todd is not traveling, so at least I have him at home to share the parenting duties.

On a happier note, this Friday husband and I have a date night. We are going out to dinner and then to catch a showing of Rent (the musical) that includes two of the original cast members. Rent is my favorite broadway musical and I love everything about it. I think the message it's great and the music is just fenomenal.

For dinner we are going to one of my favorite places: The melting pot. I know, it is not the most "balanced" eating, lots of cheese, bread, wine and chocolate; but we never splurge like this anymore. So I am going to allow myself to fully enjoy it without regret. Maybe not a lot of wine, because I do have a 2 hour workout the next morning, but definitely a lot of food :)

As a round-up of last week, I am happy to report that I completed my tests in all the sports and even though there was no improvement since the last time; I have not gone backwards. Or as Coach puts it; I am starting up at last year's peak. And that is damn good!

We also had the chance to identify some things that are holding me back, which I will be working on very consciously going forward. Sometimes you just have to make yourself DO something, get to the place you are afraid of, to trully realize there is nothing to be scared of. I plan on getting there.

So as I sit here tonight, I can say that I sort of see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I plan to head towards it with all my might. Hopefully it is not the train coming in the opposite direction :)