32 Weeks

Right now I am in the middle of my 32nd week. I still have 7 more weeks to go and to tell you the truth I am getting tired of being pregnant. No, I do not want the baby to be born NOW because that would mean him having to spend time in the n.i.c.u., and that is  scary thought; but I am certainly not having anymore fun.

My body has encountered more changes than I remember with my first pregnancy. I thought that this time around since I was fit (which I was not when I was pregnant with Megan), I would be able to keep to my exercise schedule, and keep my body in decent enough shape…. I am afraid my body had other plans.

Midway through the pregnancy the doctor discovered I had this condition called Placenta Previa, which can be explained as “the placenta (baby’s main source of food and nutrients while in utero) was covering the birth canal”. What did this mean? With the pressure the growing baby was putting on it I was more prone to bleeding and could cause some serious complications; including the need to schedule a c-section.  Due to the positioning of the placenta (won’t go into much detail) the doctor said that I had a good chance the condition would resolve itself later in pregnancy and I would be able to have a vaginal delivery. If the placenta did not move, there was a good chance I would have to be put on bed rest. After getting that prognosis and being told I could still continue to work out but at a much “easier” intensity, I decided to cut out running from the repertoire and replaced it with the elliptical at the gym.

For those of you who haven’t done the cardio machines at the gym in a long time, let me just say BO-RING. But I was determined to keep at it; I needed to keep exercising. I would hit the gym twice a week, do a session of 30 minutes on the elliptical; followed by a 30 minute session of weight training; and ending with a nice 20 minute cool down on the stationary bike.  All in all, 70 minutes of movement was not bad at all.

Some other days I would hit the pool, and those sessions would be hit or miss. Each time I felt a weird pool on my belly, I would get scared that I was causing my placenta to bleed and that took all the enjoyment out of  swimming. I was mostly doing pull sets and some easy swimming, managing to get in at least 1500 yds each session. Not going hard (because that is what made my belly “pull”) or varying your paces much makes swimming a little too boring for my taste and 1500 yds was as much as I could muster to swim. Not to mention the weird looks I kept getting at the pool when people realized how tight my suit was getting and the size of my belly.  Yes, I am super self conscious about my body image.

Other days I would just walk around the neighborhood. Put on my music, my ironman visor, grab my water bottle and just go. The neighborhood is a 1.05 mile loop; and by going past my house over and over I guaranteed myself that if I needed to pee, I would just go in and use my own toilet. Luckily, I do not think I was ever to that point where I had to pee every 20 minutes, but definitely once an hour.
Everything was going just fine, and by the time I had the doctor’s appointment where they told me my placenta had moved and there was no more bleeding risk; Megan was going back to school and I had developed a big case of carpal tunnel. At first I thought my hands hurt because I had been holding onto my weights too hard while doing bicep curls at the gym; but when my hands did not stop hurting 5 days post weight lifting session I knew something was wrong.

I had to start sleeping with wrist braces, and even then my hands hurt constantly during the day. To give you an idea; if I did not wear the braces to bed, when the time to wake up came, my hand would not even be able to form the letter C. Talk about limited range of motion. To this day, still sleeping with wrist braces, I am not able to lift a gallon of milk by the handle; or even my full cup of coffe, without pain shooting all the way from my had to my elbow. Talk about a blow to the ego. Here I am, Ironman finisher, strong woman I thought I was, not being able to lift a gallon of milk.

Other aches and pains have started to settle in as well. Both Megan and Brody (little dude to be) took a liking to the right side of my body. What does this mean? Constant pressure on my right ribs. This discomfort builds up during the day and by the time the day is over I am mostly in tears because there is no position that alleviates the pain. And I feel this limits me, both physically and mentally.  Moving hurts, sitting hurs, laying down hurts; it is constant hurt, hurt, hurt and I do not know what to do with myself. I have cried over this numerous times; I can hang tight for a couple of days but eventually it breaks me. It makes me feel frail and slightly useless. Where is all the strength I had? Where has the willpower to endure gone? These are questions I ask myself almost on a daily basis.

And then, I feel him move. And I am reminded of why I am doing this. I am growing a baby. I think back to all the amazing things we have witnessed with Megan growing up and I can’t wait until we get to witness them again with our little guy.

7 more weeks. I can do this.