tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53690066800004817502024-03-21T15:30:48.085-04:00The journeyDannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.comBlogger120125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-74728384240341030112014-05-22T08:26:00.000-04:002014-05-22T08:26:25.680-04:00Let's recap the last 2 months Time does fly people!!! Especially when one is busy doing thins like being a mom, working, training and then training some more. Oh, and sprinkle in some racing too! Let's recap the past 2 months and hopefully after this I will be able to keep a more regular blogging schedule (ha!)<div>
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<u><b>Strength training</b></u></div>
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I am still LOVING it. Group strength has been so much fun! I am starting to see some muscle definition, especially in my arms (hello biceps!) and my back. The workouts are still challenging, most of the people are friendly (with ONE major exception that to this day I can't figure out what I did to piss this person off), the instructor is great at both pushing me and knowing when I need to scale down the weights. I have some new skills, or rather, I have started to be less afraid to make a fool out of myself; which leads me to try new things and realize they are not as bad as I thought they were. I have discovered that despite all the biking/running... my glutes are still quite weak (won't fire up property), and I am working on getting that fixed. All in all, I am still going 3xs a week and hate it when I can't attend a session --> motivation WIN</div>
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<u><b>Swimming</b></u></div>
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I am still not as smooth or fast as I'd like to; but I am slowly getting there. After my favorite coach left the local YMCA masters program, a massive exodus of swimmers occurred... This left ME being the fastest swimmer in the program... wait.. there is something wrong with that as I am not that fast. I noticed I was not making further improvements, so I searched and found a new masters team. Made the change about a month ago, and have not looked back. The new coach is great, she has given me great feedback on what I am doing right and what I need to change. We swim in a 25 meter pool (at first the wall seemed SO far away!) and my new lane mates are wicked fast! I can sort of keep up when we do short speed sets, but when it comes to long endurance sets.. I end up getting lapped. I am working on learning how to pace my efforts the right way and not fizzle out as the distance progresses. We have also been having fun with "open water" practices in the pool. Coach Patty brings makeshift buoys, lane lines are moved and we swim in packs, practicing sighting, turning (hello backstroke!) and drafting. All in all, a lot of fun. I am up at 4:45 to hit my 5:30 masters practice --> this is commitment!</div>
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<u><b>Racing</b></u></div>
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About a month ago I had my first race of the season, a nice flat little sprint race. Things went pretty much as expected. It was a wetsuit swim and since I had not worn my wetsuit since IMAZ back in 2012; to say I freaked out a bit is an understatement. I went out hard on the swim... which I never do, and then had a mini panic attack when my chest felt so compressed. Note to self: do not try to go hard for the first time when wearing a suit you have not worn for over a year. Despite the little panic hiccup, I had a pretty fast sprint swim and came out of the water a lot sooner than I thought I would. Biking is always my strongest part, and I was able to hammer down and put down some good watts. I passed some people but was not really looking for the competition. I thought that since my swim was not as good as I had hoped, all chances for placing (which is what I secretly wanted) were lost. So, I just raced as hard as I could and hoped for the best. I rolled into transition to drop off my bike and got to running. Boy, my legs felt horrible. I focused on my turnover and on squashing the walking thoughts out of my head (those thoughts usually come pretty strong on the first mile). I succeeded and while I did not run a 5k PR, I was able to run off the bike only 2 seconds per mile slower than my open 5k a couple weeks before the triathlon. As a nice surprise, I discovered I actually ended up 2nd in my age group. With this being the first time I have ever stood on a podium in a triathlon --> progress!</div>
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<u><b>Sponsors</b></u></div>
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<a href="http://www.coeursports.com/" target="_blank"><b><i>Coeur Sports</i></b></a>: What can I say? Not only this company makes outstanding racing/training gear (hello seamless chamois!), their philosophy and core values are something I can identify with. Kebby, Reg and Hailey have been able to put together an outstanding team of triathlon professionals and age group athletes of all levels, that are inspirational and supportive. I have gained some great new friendships, have received wonderful words of encouragement and connected with like minded gals in a very welcoming setting. I am super excited to have Coeur's support this year and look forward to representing them through the rest of my season.</div>
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<b><i><a href="http://osmonutrition.com/" target="_blank">Osmo Nutrition</a>:</i></b> Osmo partnered with Coeur Sports and being a member of Coeur's ambassador team has allowed me the opportunity to also enjoy Osmo's support. I have been using Osmo products since the beginning of the year and love them! Right before my first triathlon of the season, I used the Osmo Pre-load formula instead of regular hydration mix in my one bottle before race start; and I really believe it played a very important role in keeping me hydrated during the race. </div>
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<u><b>What's to come</b></u></div>
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In about a week I will be racing another 5K, in hopes of improving my time from earlier in the year and perhaps setting a PR. The course for the race I signed up for (a fundraiser for a local athlete that had to have her hands and feet amputated due to severe sepsis) is not disclosed yet, and I have no clue how flat or not the race will be. I will just go and race my booty off.</div>
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June will mark the "serious" kick off for my tri season; having one sprint race per month until October. This year I am racing locally, and in the same triathlon series; hoping to rack enough points to place top 5 in my age group --> there I put my goal out in the open.</div>
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September will see me traveling to Wisconsin, to volunteer at IMWI so I can sign up for next year. I have not even committed to the race yet and I am already stupidly excited about it.</div>
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Great things are coming, I can feel it. Let's go after them!!!</div>
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Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-30938267493886187692014-03-27T07:36:00.001-04:002014-03-27T07:36:42.353-04:00I have a confession to makeI hate all things weight lifting. I find it monotonous, slow to produce results and hardly motivational. I know it is a good compliment to triathlon training but I just could not get myself consistent enough. Wanting to end that streak of keep up with strength training for 2 weeks... then find a million and one excuses to give up on it; I went ahead and took the plunge joining a group class 3xs a week.<br />
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Now, this is not the regular group strength, we use barbells, kettle bells, rings, pull up bars; we jump rope, we row, we do short sprints. It is a fast paced class, but at the same time, it is totally encouraged for people to scale back the weights, and take the workout at a comfortably/hard pace.<br />
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When I first joined, I was highly intimidated and scared. Intimidated by the really strong females and scared of the heavy weights. No, I do not think lifting heavy will make me bulk up (and honestly, if it does I do not care) I was just scared of the DOMS or even of getting hurt. After the first class, and realizing I was able to sort of keep up (at much reduced weight) I started feeling better. Most classes start with a light warm up, some zone 1 work and some mobility. Foam rolling, stretching and making sure the muscles are not tight are highly encouraged and built in on every workout.<br />
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Some days we work on our "heavy" lifting, focusing on form and progressively increasing weights with low reps. Some other days the weights are a lot lighter and the reps increase exponentially. It varies day to day, and I have been able to pretty much do every single workout. I have a goal for these classes during tri season: to just simply keep going, not worrying about lifting extremely heavy. My priority number one is still triathlon.<br />
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I have been going for a little over a month and I have been having... wait for it.... FUN! I know, right? Me, the hater of all things weights, is going to a strength class and actually having fun? What happened???? I think I just needed to find something that kept me engaged. Lifting by myself is boring and there is no "peer" pressure. I think the group setting is what entices me. I work from home and have very little face to face adult interaction (only regular one is my husband); this has helped me in that aspect too. <br />
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What kind of results have I seen so far? Husband says I have more energy (always a plus) and I have noticed my runs have been better. I have been looking forward to the classes and the challenge, I think it has definitely spiced up my training routine.<br />
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Have you tried something new this year yet? If so, what was it??<br />
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<br />Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-81534617135863512962014-03-01T08:44:00.004-05:002014-03-01T08:44:36.768-05:00Accepting my reality and enjoying the processA lot of water has gone under the bridge since I last updated. My relationship with food is still a work in progress with success in some areas and adjustments still needed to be made in others. My schedule is coming along nicely. I have finally signed up for all my races this season, and I am looking forward to racing.<br />
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Training is coming along nicely, despite some major interruptions from mother nature here in the South. I have been able to keep a somewhat consistent schedule, with the exception of those days in which I was snowed in with the kids. If I have to be honest I felt like a total "poser" during those days. I mean, hardcore triathletes would not let a simple snow storm prevent them from getting into the pool or going out for a run. But in reality, it was practically impossible for me to get things done. I was alone with the kids, husband was stuck out of town due to the same snow storm that had me stuck inside the house; the city has no infrastructure to plow/salt the streets, and drivers have NO clue how to maneuver in the snow. Going outside was NOT an option, risking an accident in the name of training is stupid. Our treadmill is broken, so the only thing I was able to do (provided that my 3 year old decided to take a nap) was ride my bike. I was NOT happy, I felt stranded, going backwards, like I was never going to be able to make progress. It was a rough couple of days. And I made it through them. <br />
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I have a really bad habit (as you can probably see from the paragraph above) of comparing myself to others; at always being sad/upset for not being faster/better/prettier/skinnier/healthier/smarter/not having more time to dedicate to the sport/you name it, I am not good enough/suck at it. So I am trying to make a conscious effort to accept my reality as it is and not view it as something that defines me. Just because I can't run a 7:xx mile doesn't mean that my fastest mile is not awesome for me. And it also doesn't mean that I will never get faster.<br />
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Learning to accept and be grateful for what I have is not as easy as it sounds. When your head is plagued by constant self criticism/comparison/feelings of non-deserving; it really is an uphill battle. A battle that I fight every day. But I am learning to enjoy the process. Keeping an open mind and acknowledging day in and day out that I might not be the best; but I am the best ME right this moment. I have come a long way, but there is still a lot of work to be done. This is my life, these are the choices I made, and know what? It is pretty damn good!<br />
Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-5515558321465466052014-01-14T08:54:00.000-05:002014-01-14T08:54:10.233-05:00My relationship with food: and how I am going to make it a better oneThe off season came and went. I enjoyed it a bit too much and as a consequence I am left with some extra lbs; that I'd rather not be carrying. Before you ask, yes I still fit into my regular clothes, but I do see some differences in HOW they fit. Confession time: I am a bit of a scale slave.<br />
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I know that the sport we are involved with is a bit of a double edge sword. It can be conducive to changes in body composition, but in my experience it is a fine line. Food and I have a pretty good relationship... What kind of relationship? I love food.. maybe too much. My number one loves? Sugar and breads. Exactly the type of things one should be limiting when it pertains to trying to change body composition.<br />
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I figured I'd give you a little bit of background on my struggles before I flat out tell you my goals. They are not too daunting and they are more related to habits and making them healthy, attainable, and something I can carry on for years to come. So without further ado, here they are:<br />
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- Prepare lunch before the crazy work day begins. Since I work from home, I can always walk downstairs and "make lunch" when hunger strikes; this has proved counter productive... I am either on too much of a time crunch to make a healthy lunch OR I completely forget to eat! Missing a meal = bad athlete strategy.<br />
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- Nail down breakfast. I am still trying to figure out what type of food I like eating most in the morning. Most days I crave something starchy, like toast. So I think I need to start experimenting with other options... Perhaps more oatmeal or some overnight oats (I hear those are delicious).<br />
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- Have vegetables with EVERY dinner. I have a very "picky" eater family. And this will mean cooking different things for myself. <br />
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-Cut down my coffee consumption.. considerably. I am capable of drinking 10 cups (per the coffee maker marks) a day (this equals 4 cups in my IM mug). Goal is: 2 in the morning and NO coffee in the afternoon -- will have to experiment with hot tea. (what brands/flavors do you like?)<br />
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- No added sugar. If I want something sweet it has to be a fruit. I will allow myself dried fruit, but with moderation.<br />
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- Limit bread products. This will be the occasional toast or a healthy sandwich for lunch (with LOTS of veggies in it)<br />
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So, there it is.. My healthy eating habits goals for this year (say that 3 times fast ;-) )<br />
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Do you have any tips you can share with me??<br />
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Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-23826712480806005822014-01-12T10:01:00.000-05:002014-01-12T10:01:26.985-05:00It can only get better from here... Right?I can't believe it has been almost 3 weeks since my last post... Ok, I can... Not exactly the most regular blogger around here.<br />
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A couple of challenging weeks can throw even the best of us for a loop. At a time when I am supposed to be settling into a rhythm with training and such, I find myself struggling to get it done. It is not because I do not want to train, but because of everything else that has been going on.<br />
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Between work, parenting (the one that has been the most challenging of all), outpatient surgery, and wifely duties... I find myself busy, stressed and extremely tired!<br />
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About 2 weeks ago I had surgery to remove a mass from my side/back, as it had grown quite big and it had become uncomfortable. Surgery went very well, lasted all of 28 minutes and about 4 hours after I left my house to head to the hospital, I was back home already recuperating. I got the pathology from it and it came negative (woohoo!) Of course, having this little surgery meant no strenuous activity for a while and definitely no swimming for 2 weeks. I thought I'd never say this... But I missed the pool!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhReOSfH5YpTJKr0w7nkfjelJheamyH0diK6G9z34M7QZDRSyVqQxgtpg11Jmdp-TAlszXyOnl8vwdsR9nLofHQWLHNRmw9h2PXGSz0j1x7z9xVJ-s86F6w-P8e4srKlnqhGzMD4Bb0eG45/s1600/IMG_2999.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhReOSfH5YpTJKr0w7nkfjelJheamyH0diK6G9z34M7QZDRSyVqQxgtpg11Jmdp-TAlszXyOnl8vwdsR9nLofHQWLHNRmw9h2PXGSz0j1x7z9xVJ-s86F6w-P8e4srKlnqhGzMD4Bb0eG45/s1600/IMG_2999.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The scar.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq6wMeT80G4-f_viGQxmnMPSyj_oJ_QU1c_RIMj3wL7IglyETuq8F6mMXFYt42_jkvS_Yt1E8vuAnOK9NqctpLY5FISiJjE8exOEyc7MzeiZR67GIRTidtp8EE1HlfN7v6rBVwfXMuNc7a/s1600/IMG_2978.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq6wMeT80G4-f_viGQxmnMPSyj_oJ_QU1c_RIMj3wL7IglyETuq8F6mMXFYt42_jkvS_Yt1E8vuAnOK9NqctpLY5FISiJjE8exOEyc7MzeiZR67GIRTidtp8EE1HlfN7v6rBVwfXMuNc7a/s1600/IMG_2978.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The "thing" I got removed</td></tr>
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The inactivity drove me crazy! I could only wait 3 days before I got on my trainer to spin the legs for a little while. I managed 30 minutes the first day back, as I did not want to "pull" anything. Slowly but surely I got my biking legs under me and I spent a lot of quality time with my bike on the trainer. High power intervals, slow recovery spins; you name it.. I did it!<br />
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Running... well, that is another story. I have not run a step since December 30th. After the surgery the jostling movement hurt my side, so running was put on hold until the doctor assured me that I would not hurt myself if I went out for some liberating miles. I got the all clear 2 days ago... and I still have not been able to run a single step! WTF?!?!<br />
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Friday was a very busy day at work. I am a business analyst for one of the software products my employer utilizes internally, and this weekend we had a release to "production" (meaning... we went live with our changes). A lot of last minute testing, fine tuning, etc; combined with parenting.. and I was stuck without a workout.<br />
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The weekend came around and here I sit; with a heating pad placed on my lower back. I can barely move without wincing in pain. I'll spare you the details, but I will say.. my 3 year old is strong, and "fighting" him (for his own good) is not an easy thing to do. The whole situation has made me cry more than I am willing to admit; the feelings of helplessness as you realize he is the reason why he is so uncomfortable and the fact that there isn't much you can do to help him... As a mother, it breaks my heart...<br />
<br />I think it is safe to say, January has not been the poster child for a "great year" start; but I still have high hopes for 2014. I am not defeated yet.. and it can only get better from here.. right?Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-15971370570045253652013-12-23T10:28:00.002-05:002013-12-23T10:28:29.542-05:00Did that just happen? Thoughts on becoming a brand ambassador<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">OK, just go ahead and pinch me.. Did this really happen? Did I really get selected to be a part of an ambassador team?? How did this happen? I mean, yes, I sent the application; but I thought FOR SURE I would not get selected. I do not lead an exciting lifestyle, I am not a top speed athlete, and honestly last season was one of my worst in my whole triathlon "career". As you could have probably guessed by reading the above lines, I am my worst critic and usually struggle with my own self acceptance and self worth (not to mention my social interactions). So, to say I was SHOCKED when I got the email from the company's founder/owner welcoming me to the Ambassador team; is a severe understatement.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But then something magical happened. Receiving that email, made me realize/believe, that I am indeed worthy. Despite hearing from my family members how awesome they think I am and how proud they are of me, having someone from the "outside" put this kind of trust in you... is well, just empowering; and i n my case can be the catalyst of change. I know it might sound silly, or even sad; but that email sparked a whole new level of commitment to myself, to the sport and the brand I will be representing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A commitment to try my hardest at being the best I can be. A commitment to not being so harsh on myself. A commitment to stop trying to be perfect. A desire to open myself up and connect. It is time to stop being fearful and start being a little more daring. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What brand will I be proudly representing? <a href="http://www.coeursports.com/" target="_blank">Coeur Sports</a>. "What is Coeur Sports?" you might ask. Well let me tell you! It was founded by Kebby Holden, who after being in endurance sports for 10 years could not find a race kit that was actually cute or that fit well. So she set out to design the best looking, best fitting, most comfortable and most functional line of clothing for the female endurance athlete. Their kits are absolutely gorgeous! They come in a variety of patterns and colors.. the red one being my most favorite ;-)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But what struck me the most about the brand, is the message behind the name. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"</span><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1369712706257_2263" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #1d1e1f; font-family: Lato; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Coeur is French for heart & the root of the word courage. And that’s what we put into our collections and our sport. As an athlete, you know that athletic performance is about <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">so</b> much more than genetic talent. Its also about heart. Heart is about digging deep and being mentally tough. Heart is what gets you to the finish line when all the body wants to do is lay down. Heart is at the center of the community and the friendships you find in sport. Heart is what makes you give back to the community that has given you so much. the Everything we do at Coeur - from our designs to how we play a role in our community - should reflect our values and how we aim to conduct ourselves. This is one of driving factors that led us to our decision to give 1% of each of our sales to the <a href="http://www.challengedathletes.org/" target="_blank">Challenged Athletes Foundation</a>."</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am so excited to have the opportunity to be a part of the 2014 Coeur Ambassador team. 2014 will be a great year, I can already feel it. Bring it!</span><br />
<br />Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-39262458943680125012013-11-02T09:16:00.003-04:002013-11-02T09:16:22.605-04:00Rekindling the fireLast weekend I drove to Wilmington, NC to spectate Beach to Battleship. A lot of my masters swim mates were either competing or spectating and I thought it was a great opportunity to mingle in a non pool setting as well as spectate a race… something I must admit I do not do very often.<br />I got in the car on Friday evening, after I fed the family some dinner and made my way to the city on a very dark and deserted road. My only company were the tunes I was playing… and yes, singing at the top of my lungs. Hey when there is no one in the car.. who cares how out of tune I am!<br /><br />I arrived a little after 10 pm and met my friend Jen, her son and boyfriend. Jen's boyfriend was competing on his first half IM; and Jen had never spectated a triathlon before. I had not seen Jen for at least a month, and even though I wanted to catch up and do some talking; I knew we needed to go to sleep in order for her boyfriend ( R ) to get some rest before the race. I challenged Jen's son to a "fall asleep race"… and I think I won unintentionally… That's what happens when you wake up at 5 am, work all day, drive a boring 4 hours and stay up WAY past your normal 9 pm bedtime.<br /><br />When the next day rolled in, we got ready, ate some breakfast and headed out to the race course to try to catch R on his swim to bike transition. We got to the race site, got situated in a nice spot and then we waited.. and then waited some more… Turns out that R had a much faster swim split than anticipated and we completely missed him. Ooops.<br />Determined to not miss his next transition we got in the car to head to T2… The joys of a point to point race. <br /><br />We made it to T2 with time to spare and even had time to go get some warm coffee… it was a COLD morning. We positioned ourselves along the IN section towards transition and we could see, not only the bikes come in, but also the runners on the first out and back portion of their run. <br />Triathletes started rolling in soon after we found our spot (in the sun!) and the fun spectating began. I tried to give Jen as much information as possible about everything and what to expect when R rolled in. I pointed out different running forms and how to tell if a runner was evidently hurting or not based on how stiff their stride looked. And then it hit me…. I LOVE this sport; and I wanted to be racing! <br /><br />R rolled in and he looked AWESOME! He had crushed his swim time, but gave us a pretty good estimate of what his bike split would be.. He nailed that one. We yelled super loud for him and he finally saw us when he first started running. He looked GOOD! Light on his feet and ready to throw down on the run. I knew right there he would come well under his run estimate. After collecting his things out of transition we made our way to the finish line about half a mile away.<br /><br />At this point I was bummed I had not seen any of my masters friends. Not really knowing what splits they were expecting I had no idea where to look for them. Come to find out, one of them had actually passed right in front of me when headed out for the run… Oops again.<br /><br />Luckily I was able to connect with them at the finish line and we spent a little bit of time spectating together with Jen and son. About 25 minutes after we had made it to our desired position close to the finish chute; R came along… Completely CRUSHING his expected run time by almost 20 minutes!!!! He was running the half marathon at my 5k Pace. Ha! One of these days I will be able to run that fast too for longer than 3 miles.<br />He finished the race with an awesome sub 5:15. His first half IM! Way to go R!<br /><br />I had a pretty bad season in 2013 as evidenced by my previous post, I got burnt out and lost the sense of fun in the whole triathlon world. Spectating this race was exactly what I needed to light that fire back up and remind me how much fun this is. I am ready to tackle 2014. Let the fun begin!Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-54550600929649959062013-10-15T15:09:00.001-04:002014-01-16T08:44:22.145-05:00In retrospectAfter a lot of denying and trying to get through this past season; a couple of months ago I finally accepted the fact that I was injured. I was injured and I had gone through this season just to get through it. My best work did not show up on the daily, and when I expected myself to do great at races.. of course I didn't! And then the disappointment would settle. <br />
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The reality is… I bit more than I could chew during 2013 and I hurt myself. Not just physically, but also emotionally. I forgot to make ME a priority on my daily life and it showed. I spent most of my races questioning WHY I was there. Why was I racing?<br />
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I had a season plagued with self doubt, self imposed limits and the constant mind bug: you do not belong here, you are not worthy of this. And during the entire season, I believed it all. And I fell more and more into the hole. Downward spiral they call it.<br />
The more I doubted myself, the more half assed I performed my workouts. The "worse" my workouts were, the worse my races became. There is no secret, we all triathletes know it… If you put in the work, you will get the results. You can't expect excellence on race day, when you have put on mediocrity on the day to day. <br />
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Throughout my 2013 season I felt like I had no direction, I felt lost. Not just about triathlon, but about life in general. I struggled with what I wanted to become; I struggled with my relationships with others. I felt alone and unwanted. Yes, I have a WONDERFUL family; that truth does not escape me. <br />
But sometimes, there have to be other things in life besides being a mother/wife. And there is where my struggles lie. I have been living in the USA for 11 years, and for that entire time… I have felt like I do not belong anywhere. I have felt unaccepted no matter how hard I have tried to fit in.<br />
You see.. to me, friendship is a two way street, and I do not want to be the one that is always initiating contact. But I am. And it is a sad realization that unless I emailed/called/IM'd someone… no one would talk to me. And I feel lonely. <br />
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And I think this realization was also a part of why I took my triathlon training a lot less serious this season. I wanted to be wanted; I wanted to fit in. I branched out and tried other things; but I was not entirely happy either. I love triathlon, the things I have accomplished through the sport, the way it makes me feel. But when one is fully committed to it, the truth is, there is not a lot of time for other things. Add to that a family and a full time job; and unless you can find a training partner that is in the exact fitness level you are at, you will be doing most of your training alone. It is a hard balance, and this year I sucked at keeping it.<br />
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Where does that leave me? Wish I knew. One thing for sure, I do not want to feel as "lame" as I felt during this tri season. Yes, I am not as fast as I wish I was… I might never be the top of my age group, but I will never know for sure if I do not try my hardest. So there I go.Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-32144678518724983722013-07-11T08:29:00.001-04:002013-07-11T08:29:32.829-04:00Where am I at?I have not updated this in a LONG time. I think we are due for another "check-in" on the 2013 goals. Here we go:<br />
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1) Cook more: I am still doing fairly well here. I am not where I want to be, but I am still trying to make progress. We do not eat out as much, but I feel like I can do SO MUCH better.<br />
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2) Reduce Work stress: Mission accomplished! I was able to successfully switch positions within the company I work for; and I am loving my new spot. It plays to what I consider be the strong analytic side of my brain. I am a Business Analyst now, for one of the highly used internal systems. My geek side is in action, and I love it!<br />
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3) Yell less --> failing miserably. Enough said. :-(<br />
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4) Be a better mom and wife. I have made some progress! Even though I still yell, I am trying to put myself on the other person's shoes a lot more.<br />
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5) Further education --> not interested this year. I am loving my new work occupation and before I decide to "specialize" on something I want to make sure I LOVE what I will specialize in.<br />
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6) Visit my family in Argentina --> Not happening. But.. MY MOM is coming to visit!!! WEEE! She will be in the US for the first time ever and I am Oh so excited! She will stay with us for 3 weeks and she will even be here when my A race for the season happens --> she will see me race, for the first time EVER! July/August will be GREAT months<br />
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7) Get stronger: this one has taken a back seat. I still want to get stronger, but I think I will seriously focus on it once Tri season is over.<br />
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8) Step out of my comfort zone. I had some partial success at the beginning of the year when I signed up and successfully completed the Goruck challenge. After tri season I will be attempting some other Obstacle course type events. My biggest fear? Heights.<br />
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9) Make improvements to my swimming. Just yesterday I was able to break 1:30 on a timed 100! Booyah!<br />
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10) Get my power to weight ratio above 3. I am Oh so close! I think last bike test I was at 2.99 or something... ALMOST there.<br />
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11) Re-learn how to hurt on the run. Not doing so well. My mind has some serious issues with this. When I run hard, my stomach hurts, once my stomach starts hurting my brain craps out --> chicken me backs off. I NEED TO GET PAST THIS. It is one of those things that make me really mad, but I can't seem to break away from.<br />
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12) Share more. The jury is still out on this one. I don't think I have made much progress.<br />
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As you can see, the list above is about 50/50 progress/no progress. But I guess 50% is better than no progress at all, right? I have successfully been able to remove myself from the hole I was in for such a long time; well at least most of me. I think having my mom here and spending some time with her will do me a lot of good. I am so excited to show her around, for her to see my house, the place I work at, where I get my groceries. I know I have said this so many times, but the cultural/society differences are so many, I can't wait for her to see it with her own eyes. I can't wait for her to spend some time with her grand kids and see those relationships flourish. That is one of the hardest things about living so far away; my side of the family does not have the privilege of spending as much time with my littles. Lots of things happening in July/August. I am excited for what's to come!Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-12983557006844310532013-03-20T16:56:00.000-04:002013-03-20T16:59:02.933-04:00Goruck Challenge - Boston About 8 months ago, Husband completed the Goruck Challenge for the first time. Class #192 in Charlotte. Upon witnessing first hand the event and the connections he was able to make with the people in the class, I was drawn in to try it myself. So, shortly after the completion of his challenge I signed up for my first one; with the condition that some of his friends from Class #192 did it with me.<br />
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As most of you know, I am mostly inclined to doing triathlons. The type of sport that it just requires you to be with yourself for long periods of time; caring only about yourself and what YOU can do to move yourself forward. This would be a completely different beast. Time ticked away, some days faster than others; and all of a sudden the weekend of the challenge was right around the corner.<br />
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We flew ourselves up to Boston and upon arrival we met with a bunch of friends. Both the virtual and real kind of friends. I was hugged, kissed and assured that I would have a great time and rock the challenge. I was a bit skeptical (and scared). Most of the folks that were doing the challenge with me, spent the night prior to it awake; either doing the challenge or witnessing it. Understandably, they were all tired the afternoon preceding my challenge, and they all went to sleep. Me? Not so much. I started getting panicky.. thinking I was getting sick, that I would in no way be able to finish. Bad thoughts inundated my head.<br />
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The time passed slowly... I just wanted 10 PM to arrive, so I could just get going with it. When it was time to get ready, I did so quietly and trying to be methodical. I am not sure how successful I was, but I got all my stuff together. It was cold. Freezing. Layers were put on, gloves, beanie, two pairs of socks. We made our way to the start, stopping along the way to grab a bite to eat.<br />
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At 10 PM Cadre Lou (for those of you that do not know.. here is the definition of cadre from <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cadre">Dictionary.com</a>) gave us instructions to go into formation. After roll call (there ended up being 44 of us, from the original ~ 70 that were signed up), cadre introduction (there were 7 of them) and ruck inspection (you are supposed to carry a ruck with 4 bricks if you are under 150 lbs, and 6 bricks if you are over 150 lbs), the "welcome party" started. This consisted of a set of physical exercises; push ups, bear crawls, low crawls, flutter kicks. The goals is to get the group to start working together as a team.<br />
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One of the exercises of the welcome party was what they call the inchworm push up. What is it you ask? Well, you stand in a line and upon assuming push up position one person in front of the other, the person that is right in front of you puts their feet on your back, and you put your feet on the back of the person behind you. This way everybody is "connected". My luck was such that I ended in the back of the line. My feet were the only feet that touched the ground. Doing push ups on my toes is challenging enough for me as it is; add a weighted ruck and someone's feet on top, and I have pretty much an impossible mission in my hands. I was doing my best when, upon being instructed to move backwards, I was not able to get off the floor on time and the person in front of me bent my back backwards. I heard it crack, and it hurt. Tears welled in my eyes and I held in a little scream (you are supposed to "suffer in silence"). I removed myself from the line and curled in a ball to stretch out my back. Cadre Jason came over and drilled me with questions. He first made sure I was ok, and then started asking if I would be able to continue: "Are you sure you will be able to keep going for 10-12 more hours? Without slowing down your team?" There was NO doubt in my mind that this was just a little hiccup. There was NO way I was quitting. I made that clear; and I was asked to get back in line. I did.<br />
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After a series of other exercises, they split us into 2 classes of 22 people. Here is when I realized... I was on the team that did NOT have my friends, or my husband. I thought about this and I knew without hesitation that if that is what needed to happen, I would STILL finish the challenge. Luckily, the other team realized I was missing and asked for the swap to be made. Relief.<br />
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Upon the splits, I was promptly selected as Team Lead (TL). Our welcome party continued. for 2.5 more hours. Being TL was difficult, I was confused most of the time. Trying to keep the group together while having your head down and doing all the exercises was rough. In the challenge the team must come first, and I found it very challenging to achieve the balance needed. I got called out a bunch of times: "TL this" "TL that"... More confusion. Worries. Husband got hurt. I wanted to help, but couldn't. I was TL. TL's lead. Get your head on straight. Keep going.<br />
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This is where I had my first weak moment. We were doing a running up/down exercise, and I was having trouble getting up fast enough. The weight was getting to me. I felt the tears well up and the desperation creep in. Luckily at this time, husband and I were paired up. I took a look at him and I knew I could push through and finish the task. Deep breath, focus, go. Give it your best, that's all you can do. Keep trying.<br />
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Finally, after we moved some snow from point A to point B, I was fired as TL and told to join the ranks. When cadre uttered the words, all I could say was "Thank you". I think he laughed. Finally a new TL was picked and we moved on to our first mission.<br />
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Honestly, I do not remember what the missions were. Even though I was lucid and never felt tired/sleepy, I was just focused on getting through the task at hand and for some reason I have forgotten the details. The way it works is you are given a task and a time to complete it by. Even though I do not remember what most of our tasks were, I am pretty sure we missed most of our time hacks.<br />
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At one point we arrived at a site that held a bunch of extra things for us to carry around. A log, some construction materials, a ladder. There were so many things that everybody in the group was carrying something, at least 10lbs more than the weight of your ruck. We trudged along. We made slow progress.<br />
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We climbed stairs, crossed bridges, we walked and then walked some more. All of the sudden we arrived at the shores of a body of water (I think it was the Charles river? but I am not sure). We all knew what was coming. "Put your rucks down, take off any clothes you don't want to get wet and go in the water, knee level". Freezing water! Once in the water we did squats. Low enough to get our butts wet. We squated to the tune of the Spongebob Square pants song. And then we were allowed to get out. I promptly slipped and my hands ended up in the water.<br />
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"Put your clothes on fast". One person had completely stripped down, completely naked. It took him a while to get dressed... And we were getting cold. Mountain climbers. Move, move, move. Get warm. My shoes were wet, my toes hurt from the cold, and I was starting to lose feeling on my fingers. Get in formation and move out. At this time I got a hold of the flag and started setting the pace. I didn't last long, as holding the flag meant I had to leave my fingers still... No circulation = no feeling in fingers. I passed the flag to someone else and moved to the back of the line.<br />
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We ran some more, we got dry along the way and warmed up some. We did more up/downs. We "took" a monument, and then we rested. Penguin huddle to stay warm. Feet still hurt, a lot. Change gloves, put on an extra hoodie. Eat some food. Drink some water. Get in formation, move out.<br />
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We arrived at a "hill" where we had to do buddy carries. This is where my lowest point of the whole challenge would come. Husband was carrying me, ruck included. And I started to feel sick. I could not breathe, I thought I was going to throw up. Daylight had arrived, so I knew we were more than half way through. "I have come this far, please do not let this happen now" I was angry, I was worried, I hated thinking that the team was getting punished because of me. And I hated myself for that. I was allowed to sit down and compose myself. I fought the tears, focused on the breathing and did not allow the bad thoughts to take over my head. As soon as I was feeling well enough, I got back in it. Determined to not let this get the best of me. I grabbed the flag again, and when cadre saw me, I think he gave me a nod and a wink of approval. I felt a weird sense of accomplishment. I had overcome. Win.<br />
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We continued to move at a steady pace. Sometimes faster than others. At some point we reached a small baseball field. And I think that might have been the only time hack me made all night. Once we climbed over the fence we played a little "game". I won't go into the details, but I am going to say both my knees are bruised because of it, and I got the "easy" end of it. Guys got it a LOT worse.<br />
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After the game ended, we headed out of the field, we walk some, we shuffle some, moving forward as a unit being the #1 goal. Next thing I know the streets start to become familiar, and we are headed to the start point. This can only mean one thing... we are about to be done. We reach the park, we get in formation. And are promptly given another mission to complete. We head out, and at this point I can't tell if spirits are high or not. I am definitely tired, but I know we are close to the end. Hang in there, hang in there. More push ups. "Give us five good ones and you can be done with them". We do. Get in formation again. Move.<br />
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Climb down more stairs, cross over muddy pit. Stay together, stay together. We reach the park where we started and are given 30 seconds to reach the monument at the top of the hill. The end is close. I can smell it. We start running. I fall behind, I can feel the weight of the pack, my legs can't go any faster, my stomach is all in knots like it gets when I do a very hard effort. I want to walk, SO bad. But something inside tells me... NO, the team will NOT suffer because of you. Push. Push. We reach the top. Get back in formation. I am the last one to join the line.<br />
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Cadre Adam steps atop a bench and announces we have completed the Goruck challenge. Tears flood my eyes. I did it. I finished it. I look around for husband and he is on the other end of the line. I need a hug STAT. Jen, Chris, Jim... they are all there. I get my hug. Husband appears. More hugs. Next thing I know I am being pushed to the front to get my patch. This is so surreal. Shake hands, get patch. Look at Cadre Jason... "Aren't you the one that asked me if I would be able to continue 10-12 more hours when we were doing the inchworm pushups?" "Yes, that was me" "Well, it looks like I did"<br />
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To all of Class 461-A... I am glad I got to do my first challenge with you all. To my AH family: I love you to pieces. Thank you for being there for me, even if you weren't physically there. It meant the world.<br />
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I am Goruck Tough. F*ck yeah!<br />
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<br />Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-78939421118681943372013-02-23T20:26:00.003-05:002013-02-23T20:26:50.796-05:00Ch-Ch-Ch-ChangesA few weeks ago I wrote about my goals for 2013. It is time for a little checkin' in.<br />
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1) Cook more: I have done pretty well here. While I still am not where I want to be, basically cooking healthy meals for the family every night, that include veggies galore (even if I am the only one that eats them); I have improved my average home-cooking nights to about 5. Not bad, not bad. The meals are not exactly the leanest, most healthy, but at least they are home made and not processed. Gotta start somewhere.<br />
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2) Reduce work stress: this is the one goal that I thought would take me the longest to achieve. I was wrong! Pretty much after I posted my 2013 goals, an opportunity popped up within my company to do something that I think will be an amazing fit. It is a total leap of faith as it is something I have not done before, but it really appeals to me and my inner geek. I will get to work from home and this will help with goal #1 as well, as I will be able to cook throughout the day... So if meals take longer, I will still be able to make them. Transition will be complete mid april and I cannot wait!<br />
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3) Yell less: Not doing so well here. Stress is still high and I am not coping too well. But bound to get better shortly.<br />
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4) Be a better mom and wife: trying. Very hard.<br />
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5) Further education: not gotten to that spot yet. Still thinking about it. I want to see what this new turn in my professional life holds and go from there.<br />
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6) Visit Argentina: Have not even begun planning.<br />
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7) Get stronger: making VERY slow progress. Some weeks are great, some other ones not so good. Once my job transition is complete I might take up Crossfit. Still deciding.<br />
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8) Step out of my comfort zone: Goruck Challenge still to come, but the job switcharoo is a good step in this direction too.<br />
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9) Make improvements to my swimming: not sure here. I did have my best swim test to date since I have been working with my coach; but I am hungry for more. Swim intensive training block beginning soon.<br />
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10) Power to weight ratio: Bike test tomorrow... We will see.<br />
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11) Re-learn to hurt on the run: This is proving to be harder than I though. Over the off season, self confidence picked up and left; and I am struggling. Big time.<br />
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12) Share more: I am going to go with "making progress". Updating the blog counts, right?<br />
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I guess I can say things are shaping up and this will be a good year. I am so stoked that the job changing thing is happening. I have not really gone into great detail on why the change is oh so needed; but trust me when I say, it has been extremely hard. Let's just say that when you do not feel appreciated and you are measured by some pretty irregular sticks, there are many a times when you just want to pick up and leave. I have been there, multiple times in the past 10 months. Not healthy.<br />
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Regarding the hole... I am still in it, but not as deep. My self confidence is still shot, and I am still blaming myself for pretty much everything that goes wrong. However, with the recent turn of events I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.<br />
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Change can be scary sometimes, but not this time. I am ready for it!Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-8413177465571102272013-02-03T15:02:00.003-05:002013-02-03T15:02:28.600-05:00The hole I am inFor the past 3 weeks I have been struggling with myself. Struggling with my "you are not enough and never will be" inside voice. Feeling like everything I do is "small change", always wrong, never right. It is a tough place to be. It is a place of unhappiness, bad mood and permanent self doubt. A place filled with what ifs and a major need for radical change. A place where you feel like you are failing at everything you try; even after your loved ones make you realize you have not failed. And it is hard. It feels like you are in a hole and you can't get out.<br />
That's where I am at, where I have been for a while now. And when I try to put it into perspective by thinking about all the great things I have and how grateful I should be; I feel even worse... guilty for having felt bad in the first place. It is a vicious circle. And I can't seem to find the end of it. I feel lost, without a purpose. I don't know where I am headed anymore.<br />
I have days where I feel I have a handle on things, only to wake up the next morning and realize I am back in the hole. Did I even get out of it in the first place? I feel responsible for everything that goes wrong with the family. School grades not good enough? I probably should be doing more. Kids don't want to eat the dinner I made? I am a horrible cook. Husband is in a bad mood? I am sure I have caused it.<br />
I have become an unhappy version of myself. And I don't like it. I know what you might think... well, snap out of it already! And believe me, I have tried. I just fall back in. I hold it together for a couple of days, and at the first sign of something not going as planned... down I go. <br />
I know I have accomplished a lot of things; great things at that. I just have lost sight of it all. It's like all past accomplishments mean nothing and I am struggling to regain an objective view again. <br />
Who would have thought post Ironman blues would last this long? <br />
<br />Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-41698309217036676582013-01-26T09:49:00.001-05:002013-01-26T09:49:29.957-05:002013 GoalsHello? Is this thing on? Wow, it seems like I can't keep a regular schedule on this blog. Life gets in the way, and sometimes it is pretty mundane, so I run out of : 1-time and 2- topics. I am trying to do better this year. <br />
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A little update on the past 7 months?<br />
I became an Ironman again. Arizona: I love you. I will be back. I can run SO much better than I did. I know it. I feel it. Still debating WHEN.<br />
Kids: they are now 8 and 2 respectively. I love them to pieces, but parenthood is HARD. Lots of great feelings with a dash of frustration for good measure.<br />
Work: same old, same old. Honestly, this is the part that drains me the most and interferes with everything else.<br />
Training: I am slowly getting my fitness back after I took my off season a little too seriously.<br />
<br />
2013 came around, and it luckily started off better than 2012 did. Last year we started the year in the ER with the little man having breathing issues. Not the best omen for what was to come. 2013 hasn't been perfect so far, but definitely an improvement over 2012.<br />
<br />
Looking to this year as a clean slate I have a number of goals I'd like to achieve. Some of them are racing related, but most of them are life related. Little stepping stones to bettering myself.<br />
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- Cook more. I have re-arranged my kitchen, got new appliances and cookbooks. I am ready to make 2013 the year I become good in the kitchen. I have a few "staples" that the family likes, but they become kind of boring. Eating the same foods week in and week out is tiring. And I like trying new things. We had become a little too accustomed to eating out; and I am trying to avoid that as much as possible. Especially during week nights. <br />
<br />
-Reduce work stress. This can be done either by moving around in my current company, or finding something new altogether. This might be the hardest of my 2013 goals, but the one I need to accomplish the most.<br />
<br />
- Yell less. :-) This is related to the item above. When work stress is high, I lose my temper quickly. Especially around my daughter (this is a hard one to admit and put out in the world). Frustrations run high at homework time.<br />
<br />
- Be a better mom & wife, related to the item above as well.<br />
<br />
- Make up my mind about further education. Do I want to invest the time and money or not?<br />
<br />
- Visit my family in Argentina. I NEED this one to happen, for my emotional sanity. I have been missing them a little too much. I need some momma and daddy love (yes, I am >35 and I miss my mom and dad)<br />
<br />
- Get stronger. I want to build muscle and shed fat this year. I want to be lean and mean.<br />
<br />
- Step out of my comfort zone. I have already taken the first step and will be doing the Goruck challenge this coming March.<br />
<br />
- Make significant improvements to my swimming. This is still my weak "link" in triathlon.<br />
<br />
- Get my power to weight ratio above 3. For those of you that train/race with power this will sound familiar. I consider myself a good cyclist. It is my "thing" during tris. I can push and hurt on the bike much more than I can while I swim and run.<br />
<br />
- Re-learn to hurt on the run. When things get hard I chicken out. I want to push through that barrier and own each running race.<br />
<br />
- Share more. I have become very introverted and closed in. It is time to step out & open up.<br />
<br />
Pretty comprehensive list, huh? It will be good to get back to this post regularly and do a status check.<br />
<br />
To say that I am scared is an understatement. When I think about everything that went on in 2012 and how I felt like I struggled the whole way through it, I am not sure I can take another year like that. I am ready for a little break. But aren't we all?<br />
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<br />Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-29615043963528585282012-07-11T17:23:00.002-04:002012-07-11T17:23:31.586-04:00A view from the outside in: Goruck Challenge<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA-vkk3g0F1lvXePC9D5xrZkbftYL2XSQc0QVmoULo5ix7wHpfAeDi2ohZ-VAi4HccE-MUCn_vGuSmE0W6hAYmcw2va9_Zz1RoTAES7znNkyIPfqhzrVgL7y8RNLwKy328Tc4CrDV4YSjL/s1600/IMG_4047.JPG" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA-vkk3g0F1lvXePC9D5xrZkbftYL2XSQc0QVmoULo5ix7wHpfAeDi2ohZ-VAi4HccE-MUCn_vGuSmE0W6hAYmcw2va9_Zz1RoTAES7znNkyIPfqhzrVgL7y8RNLwKy328Tc4CrDV4YSjL/s320/IMG_4047.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A few of class 192's members and their flag</td></tr>
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A couple of weeks ago I had the privilege to "shadow" class 192 for the Goruck Challenge in Charlotte. Since most of you might not have heard about this (after all this IS a multisport related blog) I will give you a quick summary. Imagine this: rucksack (or backpack for us mortals), loaded with bricks weighting at least 20 lbs, add a full water bladder (camelback), other "provisions" and you have yourself what you need to participate in the challenge as an individual.<br />
What does the challenge entail? Getting a group of people to bond together as a team, operate as one; all while carrying these individual rucksacks, an American flag and other "coupons" (added items that are, most likely, very heavy). This bonding happens in the span of 8-10 hours, while covering ON FOOT 12-15 miles (and yes, all while carrying all that weight; which by the way, can not touch the ground at all) and completing missions assigned by the class cadre. The event is put together by former special ops personnel and it puts "normal" folks through a small part of what special ops training involves.<br />
Now, you might be asking how I got myself involved in this. Well, besides golf, I think the husband has finally found the one "thing" he is really passionate about: testing his limits while doing things I would never dream of doing. After completing a few mud runs, and finding them not challenging enough; he decided to go for the "big bite". He had been preparing for this event for months, and I knew how important it was for him. So, I tagged along to take pictures and to try to document the experience as best as I could. He has been the sherpa extraordinaire and extreme supporter of my triathlon endeavors; and it was only fitting I do the same.<br />
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I arrived at the meeting point (which remained a secret until the week of the event), coffee in hand, about 20 minutes before the scheduled start time: 9 PM. Yes, you read that right, 9 PM. What I found when I arrived was a sight to behold. About 60 people were gathered there; all of them taking part of the challenge. Definitely a lot more than I expected. Right away you could tell there was a definite "divide" among them. On one hand you had the "let's pretend we are military" group; and on the other hand you had class 192. </div>
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Classes are capped at 30 people and upon arrival of the cadre, the
divide became effective. After everybody took care of the mandatory
paperwork, the classes assumed formation. And the "fun" began. After a
brief introduction by the cadre to lead the classes, the participants
were encouraged to start "gelling" as a team. How was this accomplished?
Inchworm pushups, elephant walks; things otherwise called "PT" ( I am
still not sure of the meaning of this, but I will go with Physical
torture since that is what it seemed like from my spectating).</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgfHeFEEnnbr1xG-4tef-9ffmQ9w1EiURlXOBRQ8ulkp4-PgP5_o5u1i5MoCL5Eo_s8xl_dG762L-KcXWBRwiuMqmAyUN_mokir9mKfUsvtO-B8XLpzEACtzfMmyVmVLGDlaK9Rk3Wn_K/s320/IMG_4049.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is what an inchworm pushup looks like</td></tr>
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It took a while for everyone to mesh together, and honestly I had to contain myself from yelling at them to get their act together (and at some point had to stop watching because it hurt to just see it). But I can imagine how difficult it must be to get 30 different people, of all different shapes and sizes to work in unison, especially when not everybody has the same strength. It was a difficult task, but they got it done. After the initial session of PT; the missions began. Each mission had a new team leader and assistant team leader; and those were the people in charge of "carrying" the group to successfully completing the mission. It is not until the challenge is actually taking place that the participants know what they will have to do or how they will have to do it. And I think that is a part of the challenge's "mystique" and why people are drawn to it. So, I am not going to recap all the stuff class 192 had to do during the course of the night. I will say, however, that I saw them become a unit. I saw them form a bond, through suffering together and getting from point A to point B as a team. <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUVu0PA8yLrMNCktnDFG7_edn-VNzdyR6Dyk6sSWlcYFVIRTU1fJetwkYcv_Tsgy4GQOsZJUK30lf2Myc302kqO-FXRKcNplOh8ZCKendk8qZGl0cuk3nH4zDoGU5QjpYH2K9s1eNaWxv9/s1600/IMG_4099.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUVu0PA8yLrMNCktnDFG7_edn-VNzdyR6Dyk6sSWlcYFVIRTU1fJetwkYcv_Tsgy4GQOsZJUK30lf2Myc302kqO-FXRKcNplOh8ZCKendk8qZGl0cuk3nH4zDoGU5QjpYH2K9s1eNaWxv9/s320/IMG_4099.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Class 192 after one of the longest, most grueling missions they went through.</td></tr>
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They did all of this while cracking jokes (when they were allowed to talk that is), and taking jabs at each other. You see; most of class 192 had known each other for months. They had been working on their connection for a while. No, they had never met face to face until a few days before the challenge; but rather they had connected and talked smack through a closed facebook group. They were already friends and I saw them become a family.</div>
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When the morning rolled along and we arrived back at our start location the cadre congratulated them on becoming Goruck tough. All the members of class 192 started and finished the challenge. 100% pass rate. You can see their smiling faces below. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGrwNUTd9DRu2GcOELOB7bRviKfZ1t5Q0YS4JwxyAgvDD5YtFoDy-IDok6BkE3ZPcjs8xLr7Ynw0Q6hpv7cB-IMMFLqlN1c_qL6GuHDbWNtxdXL5GPKhuQJsE2s259vz1G-qKKAJpJXJFS/s1600/IMG_4113.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGrwNUTd9DRu2GcOELOB7bRviKfZ1t5Q0YS4JwxyAgvDD5YtFoDy-IDok6BkE3ZPcjs8xLr7Ynw0Q6hpv7cB-IMMFLqlN1c_qL6GuHDbWNtxdXL5GPKhuQJsE2s259vz1G-qKKAJpJXJFS/s320/IMG_4113.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr align="justify"><td class="tr-caption">Congrats class 192! You are GORUCK tough!</td></tr>
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Their bodies had taken a serious tall (heck! my legs were destroyed from walking all night and I did not even carry any weight); but their spirits soared to unimaginable heights. It is incredible what the body can do if you set your mind to it. And it is even more incredible to see the things people can accomplish when they work together as a team (even moving an ~800 lbs log). </div>
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I cannot imagine a better group for the husband to have done this challenge with. He has formed an incredible bond with these folks. A bond I have the privilege to witness and participate in. Class 192 has embraced me as a part of their family and I am grateful for that. </div>
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So.. CLASS 192, here's to you (raises beer to toast). Thank you for opening my mind to new things, for making me part of your family and for agreeing to do a challenge with me (you know who you are). I cannot imagine becoming GRT with anyone else! 2013 here I come!</div>
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<br />Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-89942862491361280652012-07-08T08:30:00.001-04:002012-07-08T08:30:44.534-04:00Challenges<span style="font-size: small;">To say that the past couple of week have been hard would be the understatement of the year. Life, more particularly work, has thrown me a couple of wicked wrenches and I am having a hard time coping.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I used to believe I was the queen of adaptation, heck, I even left everything that was known to me to take a wild shot a new life when coming to the US; and I succeeded. So, I thought change didn't phase me as much. I guess I just got too comfortable in my own situation; work was going great, family was balanced (not that we didn't have any challenges), the year of Ironman was off to a good training start.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Enter, mid April and the biggest wrench of them all. I am not going to go into too many details, in case someone that should not be reading this blog, reads it; but work got changed 100%. All those people that had said they had our backs, let us down and my entire team got put in one of the most difficult situations we have ever had to encounter. </span>Little by little, career hopes are being squashed, management styles are clashing, and the team is slowly but surely getting decimated. We had one of the best teams, many people told us so; and now we are struggling to keep our spirits high and to keep ourselves positive.<br />
With all that has been going on training has been suffering. When life situations are super stressful, I find I cannot make everything happen the way I like to. Something's got to give to make sure I am able to preserve my sanity and some resemblance of good health.<br />
I am still fully committed to my Ironman goals, but sometimes I question how the heck I am going to get through the big weeks of training. I know I have pulled it off before and experience would say I should be able to do it again; but the wondering is there. One thing is for sure, I will not know until I am in the midst of it. <br />
All I can do is take it one day at a time and do the best I can each and every day.Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-65459249684238842422010-12-08T16:42:00.002-05:002012-06-06T09:24:57.772-04:00Settling in<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It has been a couple of weeks since the arrival of the newest member of our family. Exactly two weeks today; and things are settling in nicely. The little man and I have been at home alone for two days now; and we have been doing pretty well.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">On Monday he allowed me to walk on the treadmill for a whole mile! Now, before you laugh, a mile is a considerable distance given the fact that the last few weeks of pregnancy were extremely hard and most of my exercise vanished. I am slowly getting back into things; with slowly being the key word. You see, I still do not have medical clearance to do "Aerobic" workouts (which I consider to be running and biking); not to mention getting in the pool, as my lady bits still have stitches that need healing. And as an added bonus, after childbirth my bladder has been left pretty weak; which has caused a LOT of crying fits and a sense of helplessness that I do not wish upon anybody.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yesterday morning we headed out for our first mother/son outing. Destination?? The mall. I am still in charge of Christmas shopping for the family, so with Xmas getting closer and closer in the horizon I needed to get my act together and head out to get the shopping done. I am happy to say that we did GREAT. We got the shopping done, and even had lunch (both of us) without any major meltdowns (from either of us). You might consider this not a very big deal, but let me reassure you that after feeling completely wiped last week, the mere fact that I have the energy to go somewhere is an amazing feat. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Things are slowly starting to fall into place. At this time the mere thought of going back to work in a short 6 weeks has me in a little bit of a panic; but on the other hand, it is still 6 weeks away and I am sure that by the time the day to go back to work comes I will be more than ready (at least I was with Megan). We have already picked the daycare the little man is going to go, which so happens to be the same one that Megan attended; and now it is just a matter of time. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This morning I was able to sneak in another workout. I walked on the mill for 1.5 miles, I even had the incline at 1%; and then I did some TRX moves. I focused mostly on my biceps and triceps and also did some squats. Managed to do 2 sets of 20 after my walk just in time for Brody's feeding. I know it is not a lot, but for my body it was plenty. It already hurts going up and down stairs; so I will be sore tomorrow for sure! I had forgotten how good the "good hurt" felt. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sometimes I find my patience being tested. Ok, not sometimes, all the time. Especially when it comes to body image and feeling good in my own skin. I know it took 9 months for my body to create a life; I know my body went through a lot of changes; I know it will take time for me to get back to where I once was. But a part of me wants it to happen NOW. Granted, I look much better 2 weeks post delivery this time around than I did with Megan, but I still want more. I wish I was one of those people that could immediately bounce back from pregnancy looking fabulous, but I am not. And coping with that reality is sometimes hard; more so, when you know you need to wait to go back to fully exercising at the level you once did. It is like being between a rock and a hard place. For me to get my body back I need to exercise; but if I do too much too soon, I risk injury or a set back on my recovery. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">All in all, things are going well. Being a family of four really suits us. Megan loves the little guy; every morning when she wakes up she asks about him, if he is awake by the time she leaves for school, she will kiss him; and is ecstatic when I go pick her up from the after-school program with her brother in tow. Todd and I are incredibly happy. We are so proud of our two children!</span>Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-26798764759125841842010-11-29T14:48:00.002-05:002012-06-06T09:24:57.761-04:00Our little man has arrived!!!Wow, what a whirlwind week it has been. Luckily for us, even though it was a crazy week, we got to take home the best prize ever! Our little man arrived healthy on his due date!<br /><br />Everything started when Todd and I went to my 1:45pm doctor's appointment on Tuesday. We left early to grab some lunch at Panera Bread before heading to the office. Little did we know that the lunch would become the last one of our lives as parents of just one child (and the last food I would have until almost 4 am the following day). We enjoyed the food, the conversation and were patiently waiting until it was time to go to the appointment. We were secretly hoping I would be dilated enough that they would send me directly to labor and delivery; but on the other hand we did a bunch of little things so that we would not be fully "prepared" so that we would jinx ourselves and prompt the admittance to the hospital (silly I know, but at that point I was willing to try ANYTHING).<br /><br />We arrived at the doctor's office in time and were seen almost right away. Nurse D greeted us warmly but with her regular: You are still here????. We followed the routine: scale (too much weight gain for a mere 5 days), urine sample, blood pressure, baby's heartbeat. Everything was looking good. Time to call Dr K.<br /><br />He walks in the office with a look in his eyes that Todd describes as "the kid who took the last cookie" look. We briefly talk and I am asked how ready I am to have the baby. I tell them I am ready. A discussion ensues between Dr K and Nurse D; in which he keeps telling ME it will not hurt and Nurse D interjects and says "it will hurt like crazy, don't lie to her, you are a guy, never had it done to you". And then without warning, he goes and strips my membranes. If you remember he did this at my last appointment as well, but it didn't work. This time, it felt a LOT worse, hurt like hell, and as soon as I stood up I could feel my belly tightening up. I was instructed to be on my feet and walking as much as possible; after which Dr K very cheerfully said: I'll see you tonight and we will have that baby. I did not want to get my hopes up, but secretly I wished he was right.<br /><br />Todd and I decided to head out and do some grocery shopping, about 20 minutes into our drive back to the grocery store, I felt it, the first painful contraction. I actually had to breathe through it. And I thought we might be on to something then. We still went to the store and got the few essentials we needed. I got some more contractions while we shopped, painful as well, but nothing too bad that would force me to stop walking or talking. Once on the way home the contractions kept coming while we were in the car. We unloaded the groceries, put them away; and by that time the contractions had gotten into some kind of a pattern... They were coming every 5 minutes on average (with some coming as close as 3 minutes apart, or as long as 10 minutes apart; just like they did with my first child).<br /><br />After an hour of pacing around my kitchen table and timing the contractions I told Todd we should probably call and head in. They were coming a lot stronger and they were consistent enough. Dr K had said, I just needed to have them coming at some sort of pattern and then they would admit me to the hospital, break my water and get the baby delivered. So when we went back to the doc's office (right at the hospital) I knew this time was it. Upon arrival they checked me and sure enough; I had progressed almost a centimeter. Down they sent me to labor and delivery. The wheels were in motion!<br /><br />After arranging for Megan to be picked up from school; we got settled into our room. Immediately, they checked my blood pressure; hooked me up to the monitors; asked a few questions and got my information in the system. A few minutes later I was already getting my IV installed; as I had told them from pretty early on I would totally take the epidural.<br /><br />I labored pain meds free for about 3 hours; with the last hour being the longest hour of my life. The contractions were coming on top of each other, giving me little to no rest in between and they hurt quite a bit. I remember crying, moaning and even saying to Todd and the nurse: I can't do this anymore. They kept reassuring me that I was doing great. I could see the pain in Todd's eye and I can't even begin to understand how that must feel, you know? Seeing the one person you love go through so much pain and not being able to do anything about it.<br /><br />At about 8 pm the anesthesiologist came in (whom, by the way, I did NOT like at all) and I got my epidural placed. This caused my blood pressure to slightly drop, so they gave me this other drug via IV to bring it up a little bit. Once the pain meds kicked in, it was smooth sailing for a few hours. Somewhere along the way; I stalled at 6 cm for a couple of hours (same as I did with Megan); Doctor K decided to put me on Pitocin to speed up my contractions. I could not feel a thing, and that was good. I dilated a little more to a 7 and then got stuck again. Just as the nurse was getting ready to call Doctor K to see about breaking my water (he was the on call doctor); my water broke on its own. That was the weirdest feeling!<br /><br />Once my water was broken I dilated pretty quickly. Within an hour I was feeling the pressure to "push", it was around 2:50 am. The nurse asked me to do a "practice" push; upon which she realized she needed to get the doctor to come quickly. At about 3:10 Doctor K came in, asked me to do another "practice" push and had the delivery team called right away. The team was in place by 3:20; and after 12 minutes of pushing (the equivalent of 7 contractions) our little man Brody Richard was born.<br /><br />He weighed in at a whopping 8lbs 10 oz; and was 19.5 in long. BIG baby!<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA00780InCJ-HuqwW5tw27vJiKNxZ-6sa0yjWgfAOgj0BGa9nlJj91gQNQCHK2uW7-UAzfXnr47hVYGEmktgY8unKf-L2vnDzBU7P364k6KW8kPIFMAhyphenhyphenWeDzcPQ4Fwijnfnvd3ZDEetXj/s1600/IMG_0549.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA00780InCJ-HuqwW5tw27vJiKNxZ-6sa0yjWgfAOgj0BGa9nlJj91gQNQCHK2uW7-UAzfXnr47hVYGEmktgY8unKf-L2vnDzBU7P364k6KW8kPIFMAhyphenhyphenWeDzcPQ4Fwijnfnvd3ZDEetXj/s320/IMG_0549.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">About 30 minutes after being born<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>We are SO in love with this little guy! I can't believe that 5 days ago he was swimming in my belly.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFWxGt2Tdgbj7VFVnDCl_ltrVB9i9v_JNg0rIfmDeiAlMljmKl7WXj_0IyzZLGlZPxUj24Euer4U7ryIKFkrgRdkqWyofqDAklNiG8gG_ykRIjbYI7ynMlnhl0YZkOE_PVXm2fdstvCBuK/s1600/photo%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFWxGt2Tdgbj7VFVnDCl_ltrVB9i9v_JNg0rIfmDeiAlMljmKl7WXj_0IyzZLGlZPxUj24Euer4U7ryIKFkrgRdkqWyofqDAklNiG8gG_ykRIjbYI7ynMlnhl0YZkOE_PVXm2fdstvCBuK/s1600/photo%25282%2529.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFWxGt2Tdgbj7VFVnDCl_ltrVB9i9v_JNg0rIfmDeiAlMljmKl7WXj_0IyzZLGlZPxUj24Euer4U7ryIKFkrgRdkqWyofqDAklNiG8gG_ykRIjbYI7ynMlnhl0YZkOE_PVXm2fdstvCBuK/s320/photo%25282%2529.JPG" width="237" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At 5 days old</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table>Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-30134682667525643632010-11-20T09:38:00.002-05:002012-06-06T09:24:57.762-04:00And the clock keeps ticking<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And we continue to wait.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Last thursday I had my 39 week doctor's appointment. This was one of the few appointments I had Todd come with me. I was secretly hoping that they would tell me I was 4 cm dilated and they would send me straight to the hospital to deliver this child of mine. But I think Baby K has other plans.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We arrived there and this time I was not so lucky to get the first morning appointment; that made the wait a little longer than I would like. We sat on the waiting room for about 15 minutes; not terrible, but not ideal either. When my name was called the first thing my nurse tells me is: Wow, I'm surprised you are still here, I thought you would have already gone by now... In my head the phrase: You and me sister, you and me, pops up. I put on my best smile on and say something along the lines of: I guess Baby is comfortable in the belly! (trying not to punch anyone).</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Next up, the friendly scale (and yes, this is sarcasm). I look at the number and I almost faint. I can't believe how heavy I have become; I do NOT like what I see, not a single bit; but I have accepted the fact that at this point there is nothing else for me to do. The lbs are there, and until this kid decides to make an entrance they will remain in my body whether I like it or not. After that big disappointment it's time to leave the urine sample. Now, mind you, with the increasing size of the belly it has become more and more difficult to position that cup on the proper place to collect the "sample". Let's just say, a contortionist I am not, and this "Collection" has become increasingly painful.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I get to the room and we go through the routine: blood pressure, Q&A. The nurse leaves and tells me to undress from the waist down. I do as requested and proceed to sit on the examination table covered by the most flattering paper sheet. A few moments pass and in comes the doctor with the nurse. Immediately I tell my doc that he is NOT allowed to make any more predictions on WHEN I will go into labor; he has for the past 2 weeks and I am convinced that it is because of his predictions that Baby K has decided to stay snugly inside. The nurse tells me AGAIN, how surprised she is since DR K is NEVER wrong. Well, I guess I am the exception that confirms the rule... right?</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We listen to the heartbeat next. Nurse D puts the doppler on my belly and while the thing counts and displays on the screen how fast Baby K's heart is beating, Dr K guesses the correct number 144. Nurse D gets all flustered and says: He always gets it! To which I reply: Well, we better let him be right about SOMETHING, as he seems to be wrong about when I will go into labor each time he guesses. Laughter from all parties in the room erupts and my husband now understands why I like my doctor so much. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We do the cervix check next. This is not, by any stretch, comfortable, but it is something we must endure as a part of pregnancy/labor. The good news, I have progressed; though barely. One more cm and 15% more effaced for a whopping total of 3cm and 65%. What do these numbers mean? Well, not much; but at least I know that the few painful contractions I have been having, have been doing their job. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In the hopes that we could get this baby out and get me home in time for Thanksgiving day; Dr K offers to "Strip my membranes" (I'll let you google that one). I agree. What follows is something even more uncomfortable. It plain ol' hurts. I try to relax, as I know that if you do not tense your body it will hurt less; but I am not able to. Within a minute he is done; and he helps me sit up.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(A little background, and forgive me if I have already said this, one of the reasons why I picked Dr K as my doctor is because he is also a triathlete/runner, so he understands the passion, and we can talk about stuff other than my girly parts)</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">After seeing me wince and hear me say "this hurts" while he is doing the procedure; as he is helping me sit up he blurts out: Well, no pain no gain; right? After which I promptly burst out in laughter. He leaves the room to let me get dressed while he goes and researches what options I have in the case that Baby K decides to be stubborn and NOT come out on time.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Todd and I wait for maybe a minute or two and when he comes back he offers me 2 dates to be induced. Wanting to seriously avoid a c-section at all costs; I decide to pick the one that is a week after my due date rather than the one that is one day before my due date; with the hopes that my body will decide to start the process by itself without having to be pumped full of drugs other than painkillers (yes I am ALL for the epidural).</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We also find out that if the "stripping of membranes" is to work; it will usually do so within 24-48 hrs. I am sad to report that it has been 48 hrs already I am still here; baby is still cooking, thanksgiving is 5 days away, and it looks like I will still have my very own personal turkey within my body. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">At least Baby K, held off on making his appearance until I went to see the Harry Potter movie; like I had asked him a long time ago. That's got to count for something, right?</span>Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-50331635958897874662010-11-09T07:18:00.002-05:002012-06-06T09:24:57.766-04:00I am readyThe days keeps ticking by and I am still here; with this big belly of mine. Don't get me wrong; I am very happy that Baby K stayed in this long and has cooked for as long as he did. There was a period in this pregnancy when I was very concerned I was not going to be able to carry to term; but now that he is full term I am ready for him to come out.<br /><br />I have gotten really out of shape and I can't wait to get started in some kind of a routine. Going back to not feeling like a whale anymore; to finding out how much of this insane weight gain is actually fluid retention and how much I will have to lose. I am ready to see how far from my goal I am and start working towards it.<br /><br />I feel like I am in this "limbo" state, you know? Where having baby is SO close, but yet, still so far away. And I can't control when he decides to make his appearance. I am trying everything they recommend... Walking, bouncing on the exercise ball; I even ate something spicy (and I HATE spicy food). Yet, still no baby. Every time I feel a contraction I do everything I can to make it last longer with the hopes that it will turn into the "real" thing; and those suckers are uncomfortable!<br /><br />I am one of those planner type people, and I would LOVE to know when baby is coming. I just feel like my entire life is on hold. Can't really go too far away from home because I might go into labor; I can't really plan any activities to do with Megan in advance because they might be canceled due to Baby's decision to come (and that would NOT be a good start to the brother-sister relationship)... It is just a big unknown and that is killing me.<br /><br />It is a hard place to be, feeling so ready to take on the next phase of our lives and having to wait, wait, wait. I just hope I do not go nuts in the mean time.<br /><br />I am ready.Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-51277605589346109512010-11-07T11:03:00.002-05:002012-06-06T09:24:57.767-04:00Still pregnant...Yes, I am still pregnant. Yes, I am almost to my due date. No, I am not having twins... People, get a clue and stop asking stupid questions! Don't you see I still have a belly? Don't you realize I am not THAT big that I am not carrying twins?<br /><br />I am overly hormonal lately. I am done with being pregnant. I am uncomfortable, feel huge, have contractions every day (those contractions that will not come and stay, hence they are not called ACTIVE labor), my legs and hands are swollen, my face is starting to look extremely puffy... I could go on and on. But to sum it up... I am ready for baby to get here, and get started on the next phase of our lives.<br /><br />So, without further ado, I am sending this child of mine an eviction notice from my belly.<br /><br />Baby K, come out already! You are officially evicted from the comfort of your mother's insides and our presence is required out in the world ASAP. Please comply promptly.<br /><br /><br />Thank you,<br /><br />Your Mother.Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-7983003906312020152010-10-27T07:59:00.002-04:002012-06-06T09:24:57.788-04:0036 Weeks!<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Today marks the end of my 36th week, and the commencement of what is the "last week before he is full term". Yes, I am still pregnant; and I hope to be pregnant for at least 2 more weeks. While, yes, I am uncomfortable; I know that the longer he cooks the better it is for little man.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This week presented me with new challenges. I spent most of it sick with a nasty head cold turned sinus infection. It all started last Friday while I was working from home and all of the sudden around noon I started sneezing and feeling tired overall. Luckily I had managed to get in a quick walk early in the morning; so even though I was pretty wiped I was glad I got to move for a while.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">On Saturday, hubby had his birthday (as well as my nephew), and we had the celebration at home. I tried as hard as I could to play hostess, but my body wanted none of it. I sort of slugged through it and after everybody left I retreated to my bed. Not only was I congested and feeling crappy overall; having this huge belly does NOT help. There are very few positions I can lay down on and after a while, it becomes even more uncomfortable. But I thought that it just felt like a regular cold; the more I rested, the quicker it would go away. Man, I was wrong!</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">By Sunday I was still feeling like death, so I stayed in bed one more day. I tried sleeping, sitting up, laying on my side, propping myself up with pillows; nothing seemed to work. I felt completely useless, which is never good to feel, but it just adds to the level of "helplessness" you feel this late in pregnancy.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Monday rolled around and I was still super congested, but with added pressure in my head, and absolutely no voice. Every time I sneezed I thought my head was going to explode, my ears popped each time I blew my nose, my throat hurt. It was then I decided to head to the doctor. Off I went and of course, like 9 out of 10 times they told me it was a virus... Need to let it run its course. Luckily for me, the doctor lady took pity on me and gave me a prescription for some antibiotics with instructions not to start taking it NOW; but if things did not get better, or I started having nose discharge that was anything but clear. Otherwise I was told to just take cold medicines; which is fine and dandy, but being pregnant there is a HUGE limitation to what you can and cannot take. Wouldn't you know that by the time I got home my nose discharge had turned yellow, so I went out again and got my prescription filled. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As of today, I am feeling slightly better; still have a very congested head and by the time 6 pm rolls around I am really tired and ready for bed... This is sad to admit, but I have cried about this maybe one time (or two or three). I just want to feel better, you know? Late pregnancy is hard enough; I really do not need the added sickness.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">On the good side of things, I have graduated to weekly doctor's appointments. Some of you might think that going to the doctor on a weekly basis is a hassle; and while I in part agree with that statement, I can't help but to be happy about it because it means that the end is near. Only 4 more weeks until I hit my due date; and hopefully we will get to meet the little dude soon. </span>Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-91071019434073433352010-10-18T17:40:00.002-04:002012-06-06T09:24:57.791-04:00Goals<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The time keeps ticking and little by little we are getting closer to my due date. I am so ready for this little guy to get here! It has been a tough journey, a little tougher than I remember it being with my first child; but I am ready to welcome Baby K to the world and get working on becoming my old self again.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With that in mind I decided to put some of my bigger goals out there for the universe to know. So here it goes…</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is no secret that pregnancy adds weight to your frame. At this point I have stopped counting how many lbs I have gained (let’s just leave it at a LOT), but I am painfully aware of the toll this has taken on my body. My goal is that by the time I am one year post partum I will have lost the weight I put on during this pregnancy. The last thing I did before I got pregnant was train for ironman; and while that was hard, I did end up with an extra 10 lbs, so I am adding those lbs to the amount I want to lose. How am I going to do this? I have already enlisted the help of a nutritionist; and we are just waiting for me to give birth, come back home and “settle” some before we start the work</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am planning to keep a detailed journal, not only of the food I eat, but also of how I feel. When my first child was born I had a big case of the baby blues; and I want to keep a close look on that this time around. Postpartum depression scares me; and I want to make sure I do NOT go there.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I plan on returning to workouts as soon as I can; so next year I can have a nice triathlon season. I know it will take work to get to where I was; but I will work extra hard to get there. Part of working with the nutritionist is not just to lose the weight; but it is also related to my sports performance. I still want to be “good” at the sport; and the fact that I will have 2 kids instead of one; only means I will have to get better at being organized. I will continue to work full time; and I have already lined up daycare for Baby K; so that I can return to the gym/pool as soon as I get back to work. Why not before? Because Baby K will be too young to be left at the gym’s daycare center; so while I will be working on my bike/run fitness; my swim fitness will have to wait until I go back to work.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the more “vain” side of things (as if losing the weight and gaining fitness were not vain enough); I am planning on a total overhaul of my “style”. What do I mean by this? I want to look at myself everyday when I go into work and feel like I look professional. Right now (and before getting pregnant) you could say I look frumpy… I have zero style, and I want to change that. I like my job a lot and I think I can have a strong career; but I need to look the part if I want to get it, don’t you think? I also want to look more like a “girl” during the weekends. I am all for comfort; but I am determined to find a happy medium. My weapon of choice??? Shopping at </span><a href="http://athleta.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Athleta.com</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. Now that is a store that will break my bank any day.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know I “plan” on a lot of stuff; and that the going might get rough with a newborn and all; but I am determined. And if I have proved something to myself over the years is that I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to.</span>Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-35691332846160347762010-10-11T14:16:00.002-04:002012-06-06T09:24:57.764-04:00Perspective<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sunday afternoon we headed to the Hospital where we will be having baby#2 for the hospital tour. Being that this hospital is not in the main downtown area of Charlotte, they hold these tours only once a month or so. This was the one time we would be able to attend without me being super uncomfortable. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What was on the agenda? Just touring the maternity ward and taking a look at the facility; getting instructions on where to come in depending on what time a day the little dude decides it is time to make an appearance; and what to expect in terms of medical care during the time we are there. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It wasn’t until we were touring the maternity suite that it hit me. Holy mother! We are really doing this in less than 2 months, and I am going to be in a whole lot of pain. I started remembering all the things that happened during Megan’s delivery. It was a long labor; 26 hours since the first contraction woke me up at 2 am. I remember being told by the hospital that I should not come in until my contractions were evenly “spaced” every 5 minutes or so; and thinking “screw this, I am in pain; I am going in NOW”. Turns out that my labor was NOT text book; my contractions never got evenly spaced out and they certainly did not last the normal one to 2 minutes. I had some suckers that lasted 6 minutes! And that was painful. So if I was to wait until I had my contractions evenly spaced, I would have had Megan at home.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember having back labor, using the birthing ball, being in the bathtub with the handheld shower head aimed at my lower back at all times (to relieve back labor pain); and counting down the minutes until I could get the epidural. You see, I had made up my mind from the get go, that I wanted to have the shot. Now, I can withstand a fair amount of pain; but I am in no way dumb. I wanted to enjoy my birthing experience, and being in pain I knew was not for me. So as soon as I was allowed I asked for the anesthesia. And it made a whole world of difference. My delivery was not exactly “pleasant”; but it was not horrible either. It did not make my shy away from wanting to have another child down the road.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The tour was informative, we got all our questions answered (not that we had many); and left the place with a sense of “tranquility”. Seeing the little bassinet, the identification bracelets and the little white hat that Baby will be wearing made everything that much more real. We will be a family of four; soon.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">About an hour after we were done with our tour, Megan was signed up to take a siblings class; where she was to learn about babies (what they do, what they can’t do); as well as take a mini tour of the delivery suite so she would know where Mommy and Daddy would be staying once our little person comes out. She was SO excited to get to see everything, practice changing a diaper and learning how to properly hold baby. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think one of my biggest concerns is making sure Megan does not feel left out once Baby is here. She has been an only child for a long time and I am sure that it will be a big adjustment for her to realize that even though we still love her to pieces, we will not always have time to play with her; and that taking care of baby will sometimes take precedence over anything else our family might decide to do. So we have been trying to include her in every choice we make regarding her little brother as it pertains to non medical things. She chose the first outfit we bought him; she helped picked toys, and I made sure to explain to her as many things as I could about what will go on, when she will be able to hold him, feed him and even help us change his diapers (“As long as they are not poopy ones”) Still, I am nervous about how she will take it.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The lady that taught the siblings class had a very interesting point. She said that being a mother of five, she thought that making the older sibling “pitty” the baby approach was much better that making them envy the newborn. What did she mean by this? Basically, pointing out to the older child how “boring” being a baby can be sometimes… For example: baby can only drink milk, he can’t have any of the good stuff like chocolate or ice cream, he can’t go to the movies, he can’t ride a bike, etc. And knowing Megan I think this will be a good approach to take with her. This helped ease some of my concerns.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes all it takes is a little outside perspective… </span>Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-79084387650874773752010-10-03T09:13:00.002-04:002012-06-06T09:24:57.786-04:00On doctor's check ups...This past week I had my 32 week check up appointment. I usually like to make these appointments early in the morning, to minimize the wait time. My doctor is pretty good at going through the appts quickly, and while I still wait for longer than he sees me, it is not that big of a wait.<br /><br />I got there nice and early. You know you have been to the office many times when the receptionist does not have to ask you your name to be able to pull your chart out. "You are here to see Doctor K, right?" To which I nod. "I'll let them know you are here".<br /><br />I wait in the reception area all of 5 minutes, when my "regular" nurse calls my name. I think in this practice there are nurses assigned to each doctor, and I really like the girl that my doc has assigned. After the regular courtesies (how are you? you are looking great, not long to go, etc.) She asks me to step on the scale. Oh boy.... This is my least favorite part of the whole visit. I do NOT like the numbers I see on the scale. I am currently on my 33rd week and I have already put on 33 lbs. At this rate, if I go all the way to 40 weeks, I will probably put on close to 40 lbs.. And I am not too happy about it.<br /><br />The worst part about gaining so much weight this time around is that I have really not modified my eating at all. I have not been "indulging" (like I did when I was pregnant with Megan, which led me to gain 50 lbs); I have been exercising to the best of my ability and yet I am still gaining all this weight. To make matters worse is that I now officially am the heaviest person in this household. Lovely. It is for a greater purpose I tell myself everyday; but it still does not help.<br /><br />After getting off the scale I am required to leave a urine sample. As I have been doing each time I go to the doctor. Let me tell you, I have mastered the art of peeing in a cup. It is not as glamorous as it sounds (maybe it does not even sound glamorous); but heck, it's a new skill! The weirdest thing is that while I am leaving them this beautiful gift I remember a post that my <a href="http://elizabethfedofsky.blogspot.com/">coach</a> did while she was pregnant about how the nurse told her she did not need to leave that much pee; and I can't help but laugh about it.<br /><br />Next on the list, blood pressure. Mine has stayed pretty constant, not really any major shifts, the high is on the low 100's and the low is staying in the 60's. "Perfect", nurse D tells me. We go through the normal list of questions... Do I notice any excessive swelling? Am I having contractions? Any headaches? To all of those my answer is NO. The only thing I ask her about is if there is anything I can rub on my sore ribs, to make the pain go away. She tells me that while pregnant we are not allowed to rub Icy hot, and she says that she will check her list of allowed medications to see if she can find something; but if she can't she is sure Doctor K will know what to do. And I think to myself... He better know, he is a doctor!<br /><br />We then proceed to hear the heartbeat. To do this they use this device called a doppler, that while I am not sure exactly how it works I believe it has something to do with sound waves and all that stuff. At first she tries to get Baby's heartbeat near my belly button, she is unsuccessful. Baby likes to hang on my right side, so when I tell her that she moves the little wand to the right side of my belly, and sure enough, there he is! His heartbeat is strong, over 150 bpms; and I LOVE hearing it. After helping me sit back up, and yes, at this point my belly is so big, that I need help sitting up; she exits the room.<br /><br />I am left to my own thoughts for about 5 minutes. Not a lot goes through my head. As usual, all the questions that I had intended to ask my doc have left my head the minute I stepped in the door; so I just sit there and wait.<br /><br />Doctor K comes in, and we go through our "routine"... Shake hands, make small talk, measure my belly (which has consistently measured 1 1/2 weeks ahead), and then we are done. Here is where I ask him about my side pain. A couple of weeks ago, they had me come in and they ran a battery of tests to rule out some kind of kidney infection, liver problem and some other stuff I can't remember, due to how the pain goes all around from the front of my ribs all the way to the back. After finally agreeing with me that it is some kind of muscle pain, he prescribes me a muscle relaxant that is safe to take during pregnancy. He tells me that I will probably NOT like the side effects (it will make me really tired), but that he hopes it will help the pain go away.<br /><br />Next thing I know he starts talking to me about getting the flu shot. I politely decline, saying that I have NEVER gotten one before, no one in my family does; and I am not about to get started with it now. Besides, I have read from people that got it, that the side effects can be pretty nasty, and I think I do not need to feel any worse than I already do. He goes through his list of reasons why I should get it, including the scare tactics..."You know if you contract H1N1, there is a 1 in 20 chance you could die?" And I am thinking to myself, really?? Do you have to use THAT excuse? After sensing that he would NOT let up until I agreed, I asked if I could think about it some more and let him know on my next appointment. He reluctantly agrees, and we call it a day. He leaves the room and I am free to go, with instructions to come back in 2 weeks.<br /><br />The routine of it all is somewhat comforting. You know what to expect, and you are prepared for it. Even though I still have about 2 months until my due date; the countdown has started. I will go to the doc's every 2 weeks and then I will start going weekly... And then, before we know it our little guy will be here; and with him, the mysteries of being parents to 2 kids...Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369006680000481750.post-78221763434960919012010-09-26T10:00:00.002-04:002012-06-06T09:24:57.781-04:0032 Weeks<span style="font-size: small;">Right now I am in the middle of my 32nd week. I still have 7 more weeks to go and to tell you the truth I am getting tired of being pregnant. No, I do not want the baby to be born NOW because that would mean him having to spend time in the n.i.c.u., and that is scary thought; but I am certainly not having anymore fun.</span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><br />My body has encountered more changes than I remember with my first pregnancy. I thought that this time around since I was fit (which I was not when I was pregnant with Megan), I would be able to keep to my exercise schedule, and keep my body in decent enough shape…. I am afraid my body had other plans.</span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><br />Midway through the pregnancy the doctor discovered I had this condition called Placenta Previa, which can be explained as “the placenta (baby’s main source of food and nutrients while in utero) was covering the birth canal”. What did this mean? With the pressure the growing baby was putting on it I was more prone to bleeding and could cause some serious complications; including the need to schedule a c-section. Due to the positioning of the placenta (won’t go into much detail) the doctor said that I had a good chance the condition would resolve itself later in pregnancy and I would be able to have a vaginal delivery. If the placenta did not move, there was a good chance I would have to be put on bed rest. After getting that prognosis and being told I could still continue to work out but at a much “easier” intensity, I decided to cut out running from the repertoire and replaced it with the elliptical at the gym.</span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><br />For those of you who haven’t done the cardio machines at the gym in a long time, let me just say BO-RING. But I was determined to keep at it; I needed to keep exercising. I would hit the gym twice a week, do a session of 30 minutes on the elliptical; followed by a 30 minute session of weight training; and ending with a nice 20 minute cool down on the stationary bike. All in all, 70 minutes of movement was not bad at all.</span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><br />Some other days I would hit the pool, and those sessions would be hit or miss. Each time I felt a weird pool on my belly, I would get scared that I was causing my placenta to bleed and that took all the enjoyment out of swimming. I was mostly doing pull sets and some easy swimming, managing to get in at least 1500 yds each session. Not going hard (because that is what made my belly “pull”) or varying your paces much makes swimming a little too boring for my taste and 1500 yds was as much as I could muster to swim. Not to mention the weird looks I kept getting at the pool when people realized how tight my suit was getting and the size of my belly. Yes, I am super self conscious about my body image.</span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><br />Other days I would just walk around the neighborhood. Put on my music, my ironman visor, grab my water bottle and just go. The neighborhood is a 1.05 mile loop; and by going past my house over and over I guaranteed myself that if I needed to pee, I would just go in and use my own toilet. Luckily, I do not think I was ever to that point where I had to pee every 20 minutes, but definitely once an hour. <br />Everything was going just fine, and by the time I had the doctor’s appointment where they told me my placenta had moved and there was no more bleeding risk; Megan was going back to school and I had developed a big case of carpal tunnel. At first I thought my hands hurt because I had been holding onto my weights too hard while doing bicep curls at the gym; but when my hands did not stop hurting 5 days post weight lifting session I knew something was wrong. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;">I had to start sleeping with wrist braces, and even then my hands hurt constantly during the day. To give you an idea; if I did not wear the braces to bed, when the time to wake up came, my hand would not even be able to form the letter C. Talk about limited range of motion. To this day, still sleeping with wrist braces, I am not able to lift a gallon of milk by the handle; or even my full cup of coffe, without pain shooting all the way from my had to my elbow. Talk about a blow to the ego. Here I am, Ironman finisher, strong woman I thought I was, not being able to lift a gallon of milk. </span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><br />Other aches and pains have started to settle in as well. Both Megan and Brody (little dude to be) took a liking to the right side of my body. What does this mean? Constant pressure on my right ribs. This discomfort builds up during the day and by the time the day is over I am mostly in tears because there is no position that alleviates the pain. And I feel this limits me, both physically and mentally. Moving hurts, sitting hurs, laying down hurts; it is constant hurt, hurt, hurt and I do not know what to do with myself. I have cried over this numerous times; I can hang tight for a couple of days but eventually it breaks me. It makes me feel frail and slightly useless. Where is all the strength I had? Where has the willpower to endure gone? These are questions I ask myself almost on a daily basis. </span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><br />And then, I feel him move. And I am reminded of why I am doing this. I am growing a baby. I think back to all the amazing things we have witnessed with Megan growing up and I can’t wait until we get to witness them again with our little guy. </span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><br />7 more weeks. I can do this.</span>Dannihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17129760118488391844noreply@blogger.com1